Nat the droid wrote:
Patrick.

Pat. Rick.

Is this for real?

The thread that inspired this post was not "photographers vs models" but a model sharing an email and photographers chiming in to play devil's advocate.

I'm also a photographer and artist but strictly as hobbies. Minus once in a while when I sold a print or drawing. I've had nearly two decades of listening to artists from the perspective of the model and usually go home and do an abbreviated version of the class for fun so I can internalize the information and that will influence what poses I decide to take depending on the class/medium.

I am a chaotic Libra that tries to understand all positions.

This "why can't we all just get along" shit is toxic positivity. You say you don't over share your trauma and just try to relate but my dude I know what you had for dinner 8 years ago you share so much.

And no you're not invited to the Antarctica party.

Wow!  The forum grows quiet, with only the munching of popcorn to be heard. 

I've sent Dea a personal message because I am not quite ready to boldly out myself, but I was not born exactly male. and I'm older than Dea guessed. It's time that I write a book but I'm in danger in doing so.  I see how many of the members here treat Transgenders who post, I can just imagine how mind blowing someone like me would be.  You are a wonderful person.  I'll copy and paste the message I sent to our friend. You met me in person back in 2011, so perhaps you'll understand.

Dea and the Beast wrote:

The forums have been so dead here for years. 

Dea, you really should read your past messages with me. You are really a very kind person. 

There is an  unread message for you, but it's typical for many of the models to take their time reading messages on this MM platform.  Best wishes!

Patrick Walberg wrote:
Now that I've written quite a bit in Model Colloquy recently I am feeling a bit like I might not be welcome there. I'm sorry if I've stepped out of bounds.

Just look at the most recent 20 threads in Model Colloquy. Only 5 were actually started by models. The rest were started by photographers. Many of the threads were general complaints about models from photographers. How in the world would anyone find it surprising that models aren't eager to post there.

With the number of forums available photographers to post in on a variety of topics, I never understood why photographers continue to start threads in Model Colloquy.

Patrick Walberg wrote:

Wow!  The forum grows quiet, with only the munching of popcorn to be heard. 

I've sent Dea a personal message because I am not quite ready to boldly out myself, but I was not born exactly male. and I'm older than Dea guessed. It's time that I write a book but I'm in danger in doing so.  I see how many of the members here treat Transgenders who post, I can just imagine how mind blowing someone like me would be.  You are a wonderful person.  I'll copy and paste the message I sent to our friend. You met me in person back in 2011, so perhaps you'll understand.

My goodness.

Okay i guess I'll out MYself and say if I didn't have Ehlers Danlos and can't even get tattoos because the two small ones I got look worse than my vovo's and uncle GayGay's that worked in the ship yards, I would have gotten top surgery and I left modeling because I was tired of being cast as "archetype of feminine beauty"

I'm just coming home after doing a really intense bodywork session on a partner because the way I experience humans makes it really good to feel exactly where to kick someone in the chest to wind them long enough to run away, but also makes it really easy to communicate with nonverbal hospice anf memory care clients. The way I can read bodies to see where someone once blew a knee out so I should kick them there then pull them to the ground when they punch towards me, that also lets me feel when someone needs to be shifted in bed before a bed sore even thinks of starting

I have done very bad things but also very good things

I try to have a normal tinder date yesterday and I walk past someone on the street and can sense something is wrong and the guy ends up stumbling into a coffee shop OD'ing and when I calmly hand my cane to my date to make sure he stays conscious and gets in recovery position while someone else called out for narcan, lol well buddy got news for you not even 20 minutes later when we're sitting in the park decompressing a Deaf man approaches us and says he's lost and surprise, random tinder date, i also know basic sign language because I'm a selective mute autistic on anxiety meds strong enough to kill a medium size man because being outside is overwhelming and I just hate leaving the house because I can't ever just have a normal day lol

I just wanted to be a dishwasher and make art nobody ever sees after my shift while the sun comes up and be a traveling live in attendant that intuitively packs two carry-ons to move just because I had the feeling I needed to

I don't want to be that damn part native lady in Chocolat with her daughter in those damn red riding hood ass cloaks

Half of my body feels like a ghost! It wasn't a stroke, i have some spinal degeneration that explains some of it, but my neurologist was stumped why half of my body is basically a romulan fucking warbird

This didn't need to be a post, this could have been a moment for self reflection and journaling

I really REALLY miss watching gameshow network with the old lady that fist fight me every damn morning because she didn't want to take a bath lmao man I miss her especially

Patrick Walberg wrote:

The forums have been so dead here for years. 

Try fucking BINGO next time, I'm glad you find this amusing.

Dan Howell wrote:

Just look at the most recent 20 threads in Model Colloquy. Only 5 were actually started by models. The rest were started by photographers. Many of the threads were general complaints about models from photographers. How in the world would anyone find it surprising that models aren't eager to post there.

With the number of forums available photographers to post in on a variety of topics, I never understood why photographers continue to start threads in Model Colloquy.

I agree with you. It's sad to see posts started by photographers there.  I'm not one who starts posts in there.  Shame on me for replying to comments in there.

G Reese wrote:
I enjoy watching Nat and Dea take 'em apart like a $2 watch.   lol    High 5 ladies.

Yes, they are really good at that!  I enjoy it too. Beat me up some more!  Most action these forums have had in years!  High 5's all around!

Nat the droid wrote:
My goodness.

Okay i guess I'll out MYself and say if I didn't have Ehlers Danlos and can't even get tattoos because the two small ones I got look worse than my vovo's and uncle GayGay's that worked in the ship yards, I would have gotten top surgery and I left modeling because I was tired of being cast as "archetype of feminine beauty"

I'm just coming home after doing a really intense bodywork session on a partner because the way I experience humans makes it really good to feel exactly where to kick someone in the chest to wind them long enough to run away, but also makes it really easy to communicate with nonverbal hospice anf memory care clients. The way I can read bodies to see where someone once blew a knee out so I should kick them there then pull them to the ground when they punch towards me, that also lets me feel when someone needs to be shifted in bed before a bed sore even thinks of starting

I have done very bad things but also very good things

I try to have a normal tinder date yesterday and I walk past someone on the street and can sense something is wrong and the guy ends up stumbling into a coffee shop OD'ing and when I calmly hand my cane to my date to make sure he stays conscious and gets in recovery position while someone else called out for narcan, lol well buddy got news for you not even 20 minutes later when we're sitting in the park decompressing a Deaf man approaches us and says he's lost and surprise, random tinder date, i also know basic sign language because I'm a selective mute autistic on anxiety meds strong enough to kill a medium size man because being outside is overwhelming and I just hate leaving the house because I can't ever just have a normal day lol

I just wanted to be a dishwasher and make art nobody ever sees after my shift while the sun comes up and be a traveling live in attendant that intuitively packs two carry-ons to move just because I had the feeling I needed to

I don't want to be that damn part native lady in Chocolat with her daughter in those damn red riding hood ass cloaks

Half of my body feels like a ghost! It wasn't a stroke, i have some spinal degeneration that explains some of it, but my neurologist was stumped why half of my body is basically a romulan fucking warbird

This didn't need to be a post, this could have been a moment for self reflection and journaling

I really REALLY miss watching gameshow network with the old lady that fist fight me every damn morning because she didn't want to take a bath lmao man I miss her especially

I understand.

Nat the droid wrote:

Try fucking BINGO next time, I'm glad you find this amusing.

I'm sorry and will go away now.

Patrick Walberg wrote:

I'm sorry and will go away now.

I'm just clearly communicating in an open forum how your actions whether intended or not were obviously to make the forums more active and provide some excitement.

I'm very thankful for my past therapist who bribed me with cat stickers to stop punching people.

Stop being all positive vibes only and not realize that you're not a giant radiant sun radiating good vibes when someone says hey uh that's not great

Goodness Christ if anyone wants to contribute to my 6 pack fund while I pop a migraine pill check my linktree... That's 10% serious

Patrick do you know how irritating it is to be off the charts intelligent according to the white man's biased IQ system and still be treated like a bimbo who gets applauded and patted on the head when I correct someone on what dialectical materialism is?!

I got the element of surprise on my side but goodness I do miss those few years of my life I could pass for a man and nobody treated me like I was a talking dog when I talked about basic goddamn things

Now excuse me, I'm somehow trying to get back to Massachusetts after a very wild 24 hours

Al_Vee Photography wrote:
I was a professional traveling model, active on MM, from 2007-2019. I was an OG forum queen and we were the foremothers of the e-girl and OF generation. Model mayhem was a great place to earn a living. It was never a place of tolerance, gender diversity or body positivity. There was endless disdain shown towards models who did not fit patriarchal beauty standards, for everything from being short to having tattoos or scars. MM models such as myself craved body autonomy, and a life where our pubic hair was not a regular topic of conversation. The world has changed a lot in only a short period of time. Today, we see size 16/18 models in mainstream advertising. People who host mainstream television shows are sometimes heavily tattooed. People other than rock stars can have pink hair if they choose. Non-binary and androgynous presentations, always commonplace in the world in general, have become more represented in media. Still, when I enter MM today, I see mostly the same "standards" that existed here 15 years ago.

Today, I own and operate two businesses, one of which is photography. I sometimes do promotional shoots for boutiques and clothing businesses. These individuals seek to represent how their garments will fit very large bodies, or very petite bodies. It is considered desirable to show how the clothing will fit on the body of someone who is in a wheelchair, for example. I do a lot of private art nude shoots for people who are 40+. Some of my clients for this work are in their 70s. Some have lost breasts or limbs to cancer or accidents. They're absolutely beautiful human beings. In this way, the content of MM no longer represents the world I'm a part of creatively or professionally.

The worlds of art and fashion are changing for the better. Yet, MM stays stuck in one very limiting era - an era defined by an exclusive and unrealistic aesthetic that haters and bigots will defend to the death. Model participation is low on MM, because MM is no longer relevant to contemporary content creation. Why participate in a website that defines you more by the style of your pubic hair and weight, than by the miles and effort you put into a shoot.

Thank you for replying to this thread.  Modelmayhem is not a perfect platform, and has grown cold while other platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have become the places most used.  Best wishes for your continued success!

Nat the droid wrote:
I'm just clearly communicating in an open forum how your actions whether intended or not were obviously to make the forums more active and provide some excitement.

There is nothing wrong with that.  Tyler was thrilled to have me as an active participant in the forums which is one of the reasons I'm here in the first place.  It's certainly not one person.  It is our participation in the forums which make the forums more active and exciting.

Nat the droid wrote:
I'm very thankful for my past therapist who bribed me with cat stickers to stop punching people.

I'm thankful too. 

Nat the droid wrote:
Stop being all positive vibes only and not realize that you're not a giant radiant sun radiating good vibes when someone says hey uh that's not great

I can't help who I am. Those who know me also know that I make the best out of bad situations. I'm not a complainer.

Nat the droid wrote:
Goodness Christ if anyone wants to contribute to my 6 pack fund while I pop a migraine pill check my linktree... That's 10% serious

Seriously I will be looking to purchase art work soon. Please send me a link if you would, please.

Nat the droid wrote:
Patrick do you know how irritating it is to be off the charts intelligent according to the white man's biased IQ system and still be treated like a bimbo who gets applauded and patted on the head when I correct someone on what dialectical materialism is?!

I do believe you are very intelligent, creative and talented.  It's understandable how irritating it is to be disrespected.  I'm not one of those people who would treat you that way.

Nat the droid wrote:
I got the element of surprise on my side but goodness I do miss those few years of my life I could pass for a man and nobody treated me like I was a talking dog when I talked about basic goddamn things

There were times where I've passed as a girl or woman.  So perhaps that is why I find misogynist attitudes disgusting.  If I could only create a World where people didn't judge others by things based so much on physical features like skin color, gender, age, etc. and more on our souls.

Nat the droid wrote:
Now excuse me, I'm somehow trying to get back to Massachusetts after a very wild 24 hours

Always wishing you safe travels!

Nat the droid wrote:
Goodness only another hour until the train.

I can tell you want attention and interaction, but there's positive ways to get it.

If me, of all people, who used to drink 20 shots of tequila in under two hours then proceeded to come nose to nose with the n@z| security guard at the holiday party then black out and wake up in my bed, punched through walls instead of skulls, if I can process my pain and find peace so can you.

I just want to be an anonymous person and maybe write a book under a fake name and law and order svu disclaimer that thing because it's more believable as a fiction lol

I recommend looking into that, not in a bless your heart way but in a "i want you to find positive ways to connect with people" way

I didn't learn what flirting was beyond a theoretical level until embarrassingly recently, i think you can do it

Oh no!  You are on to me!  LOL   Yes, I do like attention and interaction from other humans.  Maybe it's better if I get a cat or dog?

As a Lyft driver, I have been very good at dealing with intoxicated people.  In fact i like driving at night taking drunks home because they don't notice what a POS car I drive.  LOL   The fact is that I have peace.  I love driving, photography, writing, music, and going for long walks in nature.  There is also a great deal of peace in being single.  Any pain that I feel simply reminds me that I am alive.

As far as punching holes in walls, that must hurt?  Scary, but I had a roommate that enjoyed punching holes in walls.  He got in my face because I didn't clean out the lint filter of the dryer. I was ready for him to punch me. He got kicked out instead and is now a police officer.  The fact that he is racist and has anger management issues AND is a cop should scare the shit out of all of us!  All I was able to do was prevent him from getting a promotion. Yeah, I hate n@z| security guards too!

I'm sure that we both could write some best seller for sure!  My own experience of having been moved into a room before the previous roommates body had been found has the making of a scary murder mystery thriller of a movie itself.  Music plus a love triangle were involved, and I was suddenly dropped right into the middle of it!

My friend, I appreciate you!  It is not a problem of mine connecting with people.  Being able to make an instant connection with thousands of people I will never see again is easy.   What is a problem for me is being completely open and vulnerable to all but a few.  You are one of those few knowing that about me & why.

Your last sentence has me clueless.  What does flirting have anything to do with this?

Patrick Walberg wrote:

AND WROTE AND WROTE AND WROTE . . . . . .

Y-a-a-a-a-w-w-n-n-n!

Modelphilia wrote:
AND WROTE AND WROTE AND WROTE . . . . . .

Y-a-a-a-a-w-w-n-n-n!

  That's what I do!   Really!  I don't consider myself as much a photographer as a journalist.  That is what I am, a journalist and I hope that my photography shows that. How do you think I've got 44790 posts in this place?

Patrick Walberg wrote:
That's what I do!   Really!  I don't consider myself as much a photographer as a journalist.  How do you think I've got 44790 posts in this place?

Maybe by having no filters in your kit?

Modelphilia wrote:

Maybe by having no filters in your kit?

No filters? Yet I rarely have been brigged for causing trouble in so many years of being here.  De-escalation and communication are important to me.

Patrick Walberg wrote:

No filters? Yet I rarely have been brigged for causing trouble in so many years of being here.  De-escalation and communication are important to me.

Oh Jesus Christ!

As someone who broke up a fist fight waiting for the bus yesterday, de-escalation!!!! Where!!!!

You started a new thread about it!!!!!!

You're the proverbial man with his shirt off daring me to fight someone in the street ay 1 AM

You know you can log off, right?

Gotta feed the penguins

Amourmetric wrote:
In the past I was always shy to right in the forums, but I think sometimes it can be overwhelming if people don't know where they're posting at.

Welcome to the forums.  It's okay.  Glad you are here!