Damon Banner wrote:
Something like that.  I guess that my chances with her are zero.

Get into porn, seems like. You have a much better chance with her that the majority of the population who's already in a committed relationship.
You have no idea how much I want to get into porn just to hang out with all the cool people that seem to currently be in the industry.

Laura UnBound wrote:
Id.....shit I might do it for free.

At least get $30,000, to pay for your wedding...

joeyk wrote:
$30,000,

that's as likely as me randomly meeting Stoya and her falling in love with me and letting me stick it in her butt.

T A Y L O R  wrote:

Get into porn, seems like. You have a much better chance with her that the majority of the population who's already in a committed relationship.
You have no idea how much I want to get into porn just to hang out with all the cool people that seem to currently be in the industry.

Is there much of a market for overweight men who bust their nut after 30 seconds then fall asleep and who smell like cheetos?

Damon Banner wrote:
Is there much of a market for overweight men who bust their nut after 30 seconds then fall asleep and who smell like cheetos?

Rule 34, dude. Rule 34.

Market share isn't part of that rule. "Existence" is.

joeyk wrote:

At least get $30,000, to pay for your wedding...

We'd have to be fucking and filming for like...a month straight.



I mean, thats fine by me...but thats not how porn works.

Laura UnBound wrote:

We'd have to be fucking and filming for like...a month straight.



I mean, thats fine by me...but thats not how porn works.

he'd fuck your pussy raw.  You'd be tired of that by like day 25.

Damon Banner wrote:

he'd fuck your pussy raw.  You'd be tired of that by like day 25.

nah, Ive got three other options, its all good.

Damon Banner wrote:
all of them.  raw.

I feel like he would probably have it just as bad as I would, its sort of one of those mutual things.

He could spank cuddle me on breaks

Damon Banner wrote:
look.  he can't have all the girls.

Pretty sure he's actively trying though.

Damon Banner wrote:
Is there much of a market for overweight men who bust their nut after 30 seconds then fall asleep and who smell like Chili-Cheese cheetos?

fixed!





Did you buy them from an ice cream truck?
video

Damon Banner wrote:
Is there much of a market for overweight men who bust their nut after 30 seconds then fall asleep and who smell like cheetos?

Yes...

But it's private port stuff

Damon Banner wrote:
he'd fuck your pussy raw.  You'd be tired of that by like day 25.

Laura UnBound wrote:
nah, Ive got three other options, its all good.

THREE other options?

Nostrils? Ears? Urethra?

Lawrence Guy wrote:

THREE other options?

Nostrils? Ears? Urethra?

Hands, probably.

[edit] this is only relevant of course if you know how to give handjobs. Some of us have literally no idea.

T A Y L O R  wrote:

Hands, probably.

[edit] this is only relevant of course if you know how to give handjobs. Some of us have literally no idea.

Ive found that handjobs REALLY depend on the person, much like oral. you do has got a lot to do with where theyre most sensitive and what kind of sensation works best. Cosmo says play with a guys balls...Ive met some guys who get zero pleasure from having their balls touched. Does nothing for them. So, its a learning experience with each partner. And sometimes, nothing you do will work because theyre just not wired for handjobs. Much like I pretty much cant get off to oral, I know a few guys who cant get off to anything BUT oral.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Damon Banner wrote:
he'd fuck your pussy raw.  You'd be tired of that by like day 25.

THREE other options?

Nostrils? Ears? Urethra?

You have a pretty fucked up idea of what I look like if I dont have a mouth, hands, or ass. What planet are you from?

Laura UnBound wrote:

Ive found that handjobs REALLY depend on the person, much like oral. you do has got a lot to do with where theyre most sensitive and what kind of sensation works best. Cosmo says play with a guys balls...Ive met some guys who get zero pleasure from having their balls touched. Does nothing for them. So, its a learning experience with each partner. And sometimes, nothing you do will work because theyre just not wired for handjobs. Much like I pretty much cant get off to oral, I know a few guys who cant get off to anything BUT oral.

Oh hey, fellow oral hating lady. My boyfriend HATES handjobs. I can't even try. He's like, uh, hello- mouth. Has been since we started hooking up 6 years ago (jesus fuck I feel old now). But the moral is, I've never even really attempted hand jobs with anyone because he's not into it, so I wouldn't even know where to start. Most other sex happens in one night stand formats, so it's not worth it to get to know what works with that person.

T A Y L O R  wrote:
Oh hey, fellow oral hating lady. My boyfriend HATES handjobs. I can't even try. He's like, uh, hello- mouth. Has been since we started hooking up 6 years ago (jesus fuck I feel old now). But the moral is, I've never even really attempted hand jobs with anyone because he's not into it, so I wouldn't even know where to start. Most other sex happens in one night stand formats, so it's not worth it to get to know what works with that person.

I dont hate it, it just doesnt get the job done. Its super cool for a few moments and feels great but then Id like to move on

I feel like more guys need to appreciate handjobs more. I *get* that there are mouths and vaginas and butts to put your dick in...that doesnt mean thats where its supposed to always go. Thats along the same thinking of "why use my hands/tongue/toys when I can just put my dick in you and OBVIOUSLY its going to be the best thing ever because why wouldnt it, I dont need to *bother* doing anything else". So many people treat penetrative sex and orgasms as the ultimate goal you must reach NOW and miss all the fun shit you can do/great things you can feel on your way there if youd just taken an extra minute or two. Its sad

T A Y L O R  wrote:
You have no idea how much I want to get into porn just to hang out with all the cool people that seem to currently be in the industry.

I fully endorse and support this career move for you.

Laura UnBound wrote:

I dont hate it, it just doesnt get the job done. Its super cool for a few moments and feels great but then Id like to move on

I feel like more guys need to appreciate handjobs more. I *get* that there are mouths and vaginas and butts to put your dick in...that doesnt mean thats where its supposed to always go. Thats along the same thinking of "why use my hands/tongue/toys when I can just put my dick in you and OBVIOUSLY its going to be the best thing ever because why wouldnt it, I dont need to *bother* doing anything else". So many people treat penetrative sex and orgasms as the ultimate goal you must reach NOW and miss all the fun shit you can do/great things you can feel on your way there if youd just taken an extra minute or two. Its sad

handjobs are horrible.  I can give myself a handjob.  I do... often.  If I'm spending intimate time with a woman, handjobs are off limits.

Laura UnBound wrote:
You have a pretty fucked up idea of what I look like if I dont have a mouth, hands, or ass. What planet are you from?

you never know what crawls out of the Bayou

I forgot the

RBM Photo wrote:

I fully endorse and support this career move for you.

Also because I really like sex and am an exhibitionist, but the Stoya/James Deen thing too.

Laura UnBound wrote:

You have a pretty fucked up idea of what I look like if I dont have a mouth, hands, or ass. What planet are you from?

*sigh*

I wasn't suggesting that you lacked the canonical three inputs. I was offering suggestions for what the fourth input might be, not having considered hands as orifices.

Laura UnBound wrote:

I dont hate it, it just doesnt get the job done. Its super cool for a few moments and feels great but then Id like to move on

I feel like more guys need to appreciate handjobs more. I *get* that there are mouths and vaginas and butts to put your dick in...that doesnt mean thats where its supposed to always go. Thats along the same thinking of "why use my hands/tongue/toys when I can just put my dick in you and OBVIOUSLY its going to be the best thing ever because why wouldnt it, I dont need to *bother* doing anything else". So many people treat penetrative sex and orgasms as the ultimate goal you must reach NOW and miss all the fun shit you can do/great things you can feel on your way there if youd just taken an extra minute or two. Its sad

It's interesting actually. I learned in a sex psych class I took last summer that it's a typically American mindset- the in/out, achieve orgasm, go on with your day mentality. In Europe we were told that "days are set aside for sex. Just to enjoy sex." I found that interesting. I DO find myself viewing it as fulfilling a quota, and I want to quit that. It can be hard though. Arousal can be so tricky.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
..., not having considered hands as orifices.

Damon Banner wrote:
handjobs are horrible.  I can give myself a handjob.  I do... often.  If I'm spending intimate time with a woman, handjobs are off limits.

Meh.

I've got vibrators and dildos...I can and do use them on myself, I still like it when someone else does it.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

*sigh*

I wasn't suggesting that you lacked the canonical three inputs. I was offering suggestions for what the fourth input might be, not having considered hands as orifices.

They're certainly not orifices.

Laura UnBound wrote:

Meh.

I've got vibrators and dildos...I can and do use them on myself, I still like it when someone else does it.

see, this is why you don't understand why most men don't want handjobs!

Damon Banner wrote:

see, this is why you don't understand why most men don't want handjobs!

Because Im capable of still enjoying a thing done by someone else that I usually do to myself?

Laura UnBound wrote:

Because Im capable of still enjoying a thing done by someone else that I usually do to myself?

because you aren't thinking like a man.  you are thinking like you.  That's fine, but it won't help you understand why men don't want handjobs from their ladies! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mAJU_ZKhEM

Damon Banner wrote:

because you aren't thinking like a man.  you are thinking like you.  That's fine, but it won't help you understand why men don't want handjobs from their ladies! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mAJU_ZKhEM

I think saying "you feel that way because you're a woman" is as silly as saying "all men don't want handjobs."
Relevant Stoya quote, "If something like putting slight pressure on the taint with my left thumb while using the fingers of that hand to gently cup the balls and slurping on the head of the cock with the exact suction tension of my mom’s twelve-year-old Hoover worked like a charm on every single penis, I would never, ever spend 45 minutes of my life on a porn set trying to be understanding and sensitive, while the male talent I’m working with struggles to maintain an erection or ejaculate because he’s having a really bad day."

Source:
http://stoya.tumblr.com/post/4653058682 … g-via-vice